In a display of cross-Channel camaraderie that would make predecessors blush, Keir Starmer and France’s Emmanuel Macron emerged from their summit with headline-grabbing announcement: a recycled migration scheme destined for failure.
Prime Minister solemnly declared that henceforth, migrants caught crossing the Channel in small boats would be unceremoniously dumped back on French beaches – a bold strategy last attempted with spectacular lack of success by his predecessor. In a twist of bureaucratic genius, this “immediate returns” policy will be balanced by allowing precisely the sort of legal migration routes that should have existed all along, provided applicants can prove they never once considered boarding a dinghy.
Macron, never one to miss an opportunity to remind Britain of its post-Brexit irrelevance, dryly observed that this year’s record Channel crossings had thoroughly debunked the fantasy of regained border control. The French president did, however, pledge to deploy an additional 1,200 officers to patrol beaches – presumably the same beaches where British-bound migrants have been waving at French patrols for years. The whole arrangement carries the distinct whiff of a Potemkin solution, designed more for domestic consumption than actual deterrence.
